Public transport. I hate it. Now, I'm a greenie. I want to be a good environmentally friendly person and catch public transport. But, woah, are there some people that test my patience???!!!
Like the people who don't take their bags off their backs when they are standing on a crowded bus - so they hit all the seated passengers in the head as they pass. There's this Adelaide High girl that does it all the time. I feel like spilling something dark and brown and sticky on her 'attractive' white school uniform. Although I'd probably want to do that anyway cos I'm just a bitch and revel in the misfortune of others. ;)
Or then there's the ones that block you in if you're sitting on a window seat. I'm only little but it doesn't mean I want to be forced into the space with only room for a postage stamp. Picture me with my face pressed up against the glass to avoid going 'cheek to cheek' with some stranger. What is WITH people virtually sit on your lap?! Now, I'm not a morning person - I don't like having some fat guy's ass rubbing up against me before I've had my first coffee.....not that I'd want that afterwards either.... hmmm....
I digress...
There's this woman who used to get on the bus everyday when I lived in ye olde boganville Findon who has this poor little kid who isn't even allowed to scratch or look out the window without being yelled at and smacked. She talks to him like he's a teenager - he's all but three. I just feel like punching her in the head and saying 'He's gonna turn out to be a complete drug addict and head case because of the way you treat him'. Stupid cow. I'm gonna campaign for her to be neutered. And I'm not even really an 'I love children' kind of girl.
And then, oh dear, the ones with B.O. Kill me!!! I was on the bus the other morning and this guy (I think he was Somalian or something - not that that's relevant) sat next to me (blocking me in, I should mention, against the window) and he had the worst B.O. The bus driver put the air con on but it was one of those buses without open windows and all it did was circulate the stench. I swear, this smell was like a living entity - it was one step away from growing legs! I held my breath for most of the trip - no wonder I had a headache in wind ensemble all morning.
Oh, public transport, you stink. I hate you. I think you should have to sign a clause before you enter a bus to say that you will in no way impose your stench, lack of anger management or inconsideration on others. And if you break the rules, other passengers should be able to hit you with a very large stick. Yeah, it's a plan....
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