Planning ahead...

I've decided that since I don't really have a will (cos I figure, you should actually own something valuable to have a will), I'll just tell everyone what I want at my funeral on this blog.

Music: 1. Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead - the Wizard of Oz munchkins (absolutely essential!)
2. If There's A Hell Below (We're All Going To It) - Curtis Mayfield
3. The Pretty Things Are Going To Hell - David Bowie
4. Let's Get It On - Marvin Gaye
5. Sex Machine - James Brown
6. You Make Me Sick - Pink
7. Closer - Nine Inch Nails
8. Anything off Antichrist Superstar - Marilyn Manson

**Note: Numbers two, three, seven and eight are particularly important... just in case my family lose their minds and put my funeral in a church***

During the service, I want a slide show that isn't a puke-inducing sentimental montage of me but instead, I want a screening of Degrassi, preferably the episode where Caitlin thinks she's a lesbian. **Again, this is particularly important if the service is in a church**

I want goodie bags given out at the door at the end of the service with all of my meagre possessions (ie. balls of hair out of my hairbrush, old cotton buds, used floss...that kind of thing....). Also, I think a jumping castle at the front would be a nice touch. However, that doesn't mean I want children at the funeral. There would be nothing more annoying than a child screaming and kicking the back of someone's seat and not be able to get out of the coffin to punch them in the head....

Instead of the obligatory coffee & biscuits wake, I want a pub crawl. They could just put my coffin on wheels and bring me with them. Then, of course, they'd have a portable table as well on which to sit their drinks. But don't forget to use a coaster. I might want that someone special to re-sell the coffin on ebay and don't want damn beer stains.

After the pubcrawl, I want to be taken to a taxidermist and stuffed. Then I want someone to put me on the doorstep of my current worst enemy, ring the doorbell and run away.

Don't forget to bring your cameras.